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| This snap is sure to provide flashbacks for wedding-goers. Photo Alex Reeves |
Alex Reeves - @afreeves23
You may have noticed a surge of gazebos lining your sidewalks, earlier-than-usual karaoke filling your ears, and an alarming assembly of motorcycles crowding your neighbourhood in recent months. Fear not, this is no cause for alarm. Rather, should curiosity get the better of you, and you were to poke your nose into the merriment, you might even be offered a swift but stiff drink or a quick bite.
Welcome to Vietnamese wedding season - a cultural spectacle where, with all the best the world has to offer, subtlety is cheerfully shunned and excess is the order of the day. For the uninitiated or freshly landed ‘expats’ who’ve yet to receive their baptism by firewater, here’s a primer on the choreographed chaos you’ve been witnessing, and perhaps, soon participating in.
Not so fast. Weddings here don't just occur in a vacuum; there are steps to this. The families must meet to make sure they are a good fit. In a society where family is the thread that the tapestry of lives is weaved upon, things must be right and proper (for the family members whose opinions count, anyway). Occasionally, this still involves a dowry, although these transactions are more symbolic gestures than economic exchanges in urban settings.
Next, we have to choose a date. Auspicious options are mined from the lunar calendar, ensuring all celestial bodies align for a prosperous union, dodging any celestial faux pas that might offend the ancestors. Blessings over curses are the aim of the game here, with some people even going as far as to bestow fortune tellers with luxurious gifts in the hope of receiving good news and a favourable date. Oh, and Mother Nature herself. After all, nobody wants their nuptials upstaged by another event of the extreme weather variety.
In today’s Instagram-ready world, aesthetics are everything. Photoshoots are extravagant affairs, often staged in cinematic locales around the city before the big day, with couples donned in full matrimonial garb. The surprise element of the gown pales in significance to the potential clout that can be gathered from nailing the pre-wedding snaps.
For international couples, expect a cultural mash-up with possibly two ceremonies: one traditional Vietnamese and another a blend of East meets West, often on the same day. More traditional festivities might stretch over multiple—one for the ceremonial fetching of the bride by the groom from her family home, and another dedicated solely to celebration. These parties are communal, with guests flowing in and out until you turn around to an emptying room.
So, what’s your part in all this? When in doubt, ask. Attire tends toward smart casual. A monetary gift in a red envelope is customary, entirely reflective of your closeness to the couple. Brace your liver for more rượu (local rice wine) than you can shake a glass at, especially if you’re close to the groom. Toasts will be plentiful and your capacity for spirits tested.
So dive into the revelry, go with the flow, drink like a fish, sing like no one's listening, and eat like it's your last meal. Your HR department might even give you a nod for cultural integration done right! All the best to this year’s happy couples, một - Hai - Ba - dzô! VNS
