Nghe thuat tu choi

Tags: moi quan he, tu choi, co the, Thuat Tu, nghe thuat, cam thong, khong biet, ban, noi, hieu, minh, kho


Nghe thuat tu choiThat la kho tu choi khi co ai nho va ban giup dieu gi do, nhat la luc ban khong ranh. Ban muon tu choi nhung khong biet noi sao cho nguoi kia khong phat long, ma cung de minh khoi ay nay.

Cang kho tu choi hon khi ban la nguoi “ca ne”. Co le tieng kho noi nhat la noi... “khong”. De tinh qua thi bi coi thuong hoac bi loi dung, ma kho qua thi bi che ghet. Cung co luc ban can can dam va thang than tu choi, nhung van phai kheo leo va te nhi. Day la nhung dieu nen va khong nen:

1. Hay nhay ben voi dong thai tu choi. Can luu y muc do than thiet cua moi quan he va cach tu choi. Nho vay ma ban kha di quyet dinh nen lam gi. Hay can nhac muc anh huong cua su tu choi doi voi moi quan he (ban be, than thuoc, cong viec,...).

2. Biet ro viec duoc nho. Chung ta co the quyet dinh ngay ma lai khong biet “luong” suc minh co giu dung loi hua hay khong. Tuy nhien, tu choi “thang thung” thi lai kem te nhi. Hay “hoan binh” mot luc de “chon” tu ngu, giong noi va the ngu (ngon ngu co the) cho hop ly de tranh cang thang cho ca hai.

3. Danh gia yeu cau. Hay can nhac chi tiet va linh vuc duoc yeu cau. Co gang tim mot thoa hiep de dep long doi ben. Ban co the phan tich de giup nguoi kia hieu ro hoac de nghi cach giai quyet khac. Nhu vay la ban da the hien su cam thong va chia se voi nguoi kia.

4. Xac dinh kha nang. Truoc khi tu choi, hay xac dinh la ban khong the thoa man yeu cau cua ho, vi ban khong du kha nang hoac ban qua ban. Neu dung so truong ma ban tu choi thi ban co the mat uy tin, vi vay ban nen can nhac ky luong.

5. Cam thong va hieu biet. Biet nguoi va biet ta de tranh anh huong xau toi moi quan he. Hay chan thanh va xin loi neu ban khong the giup ho, dong thoi to ra ban luon lang nghe, nhung vi “luc bat tong tam”.

6. Dung goi tin nhan, email hoac loi nhan. Nen gap truc tiep hoac goi dien thoai de tranh hieu lam. Neu khong, ban co the bi danh gia thap vi ho hieu la ban coi thuong ho. Gap nhau truc tiep la cach tot de co the hieu nhau hon, khong bi “tam sao that bon”.

7. Dung tri hoan khi da quyet dinh. Dung de den ngay mai nhung gi ban co the lam ngay hom nay. Quan tinh se lam ban lan lua, e ngai, va khien nguoi khac hieu sai ve ban. Dung quen: “Mot su bat tin, van su khong tin”. Do cung la chinh minh ha gia minh!

8. Dung “the thu”. Ban khong nen to ve doc doan hoac che trach ho. Hay biet phuc thien, nhan khuyet diem va cam thong khi doi thoai. Co chap va bao thu la cac dong thai “dao sau” ho ngan cach, khong the tai lap binh thuong hoa.

9. Dung noi “khong” dang khi thao luan. Cung van tu choi, nhung thay vi noi “khong”, ban hay dung cach noi “nhe” hon nhu “Toi hieu rang...”, “Toi khong the, vi...”. Va nen tranh “cuop loi”, lang nghe va gat dau de the hien su cam thong.

10. Dung “thoi phong” van de. Hay binh tinh truoc ve tuc gian va that vong cua doi phuong, chu y nhung gi ho noi ngoai nhung tu ngu khong dep ma ho noi. Dung “nhiem” con nong cua ho hoac dung “do dau vao lua”.

Biet rang khong de tu choi, nhung truoc khi tu choi, hay dat minh vao hoan canh cua ho va hieu su anh huong doi voi ho khi ban tu choi. Khi ho nhan thay ban van quan tam va cam thong, ho se de chap nhan loi tu choi cua ban hon.

(Theo Nguoi Lao Dong)

Viet Bao (Theo-Ngoisao)